GTOC blog 15.....Loving Life will dispell the judgmental opinions aimed at Sheltered Women ......

I am so serious about so very many things!!!  My good friend Andy of Donovan Group can attest to the fact that I get very serious, especially while emailing and driving!!  I am sure I could create complete speech campaigns, while I am "in mode".....the problem is GTOC is quite "all consuming"!!

The shock of my lifetime this week was discovering the public's opinionated view of women in emergency shelters.  Following the discovery of this opinion, I began to quiz many.....and the description remained along with many other very negative descriptive words.....head cases, mental issues, users, low lifers, drug addicts, etc. etc......

It was my very distinct pleasure to rock them off their high horses and declare, "I am just like the women in emergency shelters across our beautiful world".   These shelters were created for women like me, who were in distress at some point in their lives,  Just like me!!!

Crazed, they retort.....no!  YOU are different!!!

I apologize, no......I am NO different.  

The women I have had the distinct pleasure to meet,  are the most beautiful and genuine women.

They have endured hell and know what heaven tastes like.  Just like me.

They laugh for the pure pleasure in the joy of laughter.  Just like me.

They feel gratitude for every moment of their existence, because someone somewhere attempted to extinguish or diminish them.....Just like me.

With a sparkle in my eye, I stand before everyone.....I FEEL MY WORLD......!!!  ...do you really FEEL yours???

Take a really close look at me.....because they/me.....we are the same....!

I do not represent the "head cases", "the women with mental issues", "the users", "the low lifers", "the drug addicts" etc. etc., but I am the woman emergency shelters were also created for.

So today we say to you:

1.  Who did you stand up for today, not because it was cool....but because you love human life?
2.  Who did you feed today?...not because you had too much, but because even though there wasn't enough, you remember when there was none.
3.  Who did you make laugh today?  Not because you had a good day, but because life was so very devastating to you today.....but you knew only you could make the devastation end for someone else..

There should be no, ....."I am a better human than you because I do this and you only do that!!"  We are ALL simply humans on this earth.  Judging and creating opinions of another only invites the acceptance of judging and creating opinions of ourselves as well.

I love sayings...they encompass so much with great visuality...."until you walk in another man's shoes....."

Don't judge these women because they have endured what our conditioned minds can only fathom as fiction in movies.....their hearts are filled,,....even if their bellies are empty, their hope is only to feel safe in life.

Similarly you should not be judged, for your secure financial income and full bellies.....if your heart is empty because you cannot FEEL LIFE  in it's most raw experience.

I do generalize to make a point.  If you are reading this blog in it's entirety, it is because whether you are poor or rich, happy or unhappy, full or empty...you recognize it is your daily choice to create a better world for someone somewhere with something as simple as a smile, a granola bar or a few kind words.....and in doing this....you will not only FEEL YOUR WORLD......YOU WILL SHARE  YOUR WORLD....

....... V

GTOC Blog 14....Owning up to the Bullying around us....

On the way home from work this evening, I set my sites past the road side deer that would pounce by hopefully never into my Saturn.....I smiled at the roadside police officers thankfully keeping our streets safe and I bounced blog thoughts through my brain as I belted out a John Lennon song "Imagine"....no the radio was not on, I simply wanted to imagine life without without so many difficulties for my children to face.

We all know what a positive spirit I am. It takes much effort for any one thing to bring me down.  However this week I introspected much into a topic which has arisen repeatedly.  As in the complete mission of GTOC, I do not believe in standing quietly or shrinking away from a difficult topic.  I believe in open communication and affecting public opinion positively.

By the end of this blog, you will recognize that this topic is dear to my heart.  ... Bullying.

Two FB friends, Andrew Cole and Casey Leanna, have put forth much effort towards addressing this topic.  Today at work, it was discussed frequently and openly, as it should.  Open communication empowers those so wronged.

When I was the age of my youngest boy now...only 10 years old...I was bullied daily.  Rough town, rough people....versus an imaginative yet gawky soul.  I didn't stand a chance in fighting back.  What I did possess, thanks to my mom and dad, was a sense of self worth.  It still hurts, but you can take quite a beating when you know I am going somewhere and I AM DOING!!!....in this experience I learned a strength through which I had to retrain my many weaknesses.

Today, I can identify several who bully me daily via the cowardess of offensive texting, emailing and deflamatory commentaries publicaly directed at my personal self of well being.  It is a life hazard for the too nice, non confrontational type that I am....YES  it does affect my well being....of course it hurts....NO.....I cannot dwell on it.....I simply feel badly that they put forth so much effort when I will file it away and move on to those who deserve my consistent efforts like the women of GTOC and my beautiful four monsters.

However, I am an adult.  A professional quite accustomed to the ex-employee's angst, ....the selling agents falsely placed push to uninformed decisiveness....and various ex's desire to re-engage.  Probably the most professionally adventageous quote " just because someone invites you to a party doesn't mean you are obliged to attend....the same goes for a fight"  As an adult you have achieved the confidence in self to approach all or walk away from on our own terms.

And here approaches the difficult topic.  The bullying of the Innocents.

Where in our lives did we create within our children the concept that Bullying was acceptable?  Where in my boy's life did I create the acceptance of being bullied?   Where in our lives did we not learn to address this topic openly so as to end it before it created long term damage? As an over worked, single mom I could create a million legitimate excuses.....but he is MY boy....MY beautiful boy....and I failed him by not recognizing and addressing the signs early enough.  There is no justifyable excuse.  He is MY boy and so late in this....I stand by him, addressing his "now" everyday life tinged by the Bully.

So here are my thoughts put forth for comment:
1.  somewhere within GTOC, we need to strengthen our single mothers, so accustomed to being bullied in life, to recognize outside of their financial struggles for family by aiding in the elieviation of their financial struggles and enabling them to be the attentive mother's they once were.
2. we need to address bullying more aggressively within the school system, to free up the will of the teacher's who witness the bullying to at the very least step forward to openly communicate these issues to the parents of both the bullied and the bullier.
3.  to allow the police, the freedom to openly recognize the young person's struggle to survive the indignities imposed upon the bullied and to contact the parents of both the bullied and the bullier to communicate any potential end to the situation.

Today, my beautiful son has become a champion to follow for those who are bullied.  His internal struggle hidden in efforts to acclimatize to a world he hid from for so many years.  My son has become my hero in my every day life.  As an Innocent he has endured and exceeded those who would bully him. 

Everyday, I walk in his footsteps only wishing I could stand as tall as he has become. 

Another favorite quote "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger".....given all , the beautiful soul within my son soars above all who would bully him still to this day.....V

GTOC Blog 13.....hmmmm single & Valentine's Day thoughts!!

Valentine's Day is one of those special occasions we can choose not to celebrate.  For what ever our reasons, we can pick our meaning within it....love of life, love of friends, love of family....true love  or we can ignore it and simply enjoy our lives.  I do however, see many pining over being without love.  Truly if you were without love....no one would hear or read your words.

I write and talk very bravely for a single mom.  I have learned to write and talk from my heart.  I am a HUGE romantic, almost always positive and if I am not either....nothing a glass of wine and a long walk with my puppy in the fields can't fix.

So here's the thing.  This week, I got called "damaged goods".  Yes I have a failed marriage. Yes, I am not very good at dating.  I seem to pick people who would try to do damage to me.  If having learned to stand up for myself....labels me "damaged goods"  give me the t-shirt.....I'll not only wear it proudly....I am talented enough, to design the t-shirt, sew the t-shirt, design the logo, market the t-shirt and have people around the world proudly displaying their "damaged goods".  Bring it on.....

So Valentine's Day rolls around, and I watch my dearest friends play work games with paper valentines, I hear my married and soon to be married friends declaring their love for eachother, I get texts from loved wives as they return home after a long day at work to a single red carnation in display of their husband's devotion and love, I see beautiful Love postings on my wall and on the walls of my friends, ....my puppy loves me so much, she pees on me when I get home.....before I even dress for bed, still in my work clothes this late at night, I wander room to room as my children sleep....and very quietly I tell them each how much I love them.....yes I worked too many hours again and missed this evening's dinner, yes I was so tired driving back from work, I forgot to buy those heart shaped cookies for their lunches that I don't have time to make.  I look on my friends fb pages and watch their children grow too, I am so proud to be their friends.....I feel so full of love.....I question,...."damaged goods"  Truthfully yes....I am a GTOC woman.....but "damaged goods????"....hmmmm.....all right ......riddle me this:

Have you ever met eyes with someone for the first time and felt your soul's hold hands?
Have you ever spoken to someone from your soul  through a simple touch?
Have you ever respected someone so deeply that you didn't question them?
Have you ever felt the softness of their first kiss still years later?
Have you ever laid beside them and finally known how love was supposed to be?
Have you ever heard their voice as they laugh a real belly laugh in their text?
Have you ever sat quietly with someone,  knowing your hearts were dancing together?
Have you ever walked into a room and known they were there before you locked eyes and smiles?
Have you ever quarreled with out damaging words....simply agreeing to disagree?
Have you ever laid your head to their chest just to feel the beat of their heart and the rush of air as it entered their lungs.
Have you ever known that all those things you feel for that one person and they for you, will never happen in this lifetime but your love for them is so strong....it's simply okay....next lifetime....

Happy Valentine's Day Mom and Dad :)))

I apologise, but I do not see damage in these words,....I see strength.  I see a level of love beyond any possible damage anyone might attempt to inflict. 
I see a woman who loves life, her family, her friends, so entirely....that I wanted them all, this Valentine's Day to know they are loved. .....it is your choice if you want to feel loved....... V

GTOC Blog 12....Valentines Day and the single Mom..

Valentines Day....Romance.....Love.....it is next week, yet already I see the angst in those that yearn.   I get it, I feel the draw....I am not  heartless.  There are moments when I wonder, what if.....?   And I can't say I have not tried....however, I knew before I was ever single....dating really wasn't my thing.  Yes, I gave it the o'le college try.....(expressed with the o'le college arm swing)....however truthfully each time it seemed I ended up "taking one for the gipper"....

Does this mean I am not a romantic?.....Quite on the contrary my dears!  I do  believe I am one of the most romantic people I have ever known!!...and this is how I know it is true!!!

1.   As the 5:30 am alarm buzzed into my i-phone, I awoke to the sounds of my Sissy and my Conor preparing for their early morning bus to school.  Uniforms tidy, Conor softly leads June Bug on to my bed to cuddle with Baby Gaby and I.  Conor LOVES his June Bug....but Conor LOVES his Mom more than tomorrow.  All efforts are to let me asleep knowing I probably worked all night. Sissy, knowing I worked late last night but desperate for the hair straightener in my bathroom slowly squeaks open the door, elongating the sound effects vibrating through my sleep deprived, pain filled brain.  Tip toes  in the blackness, muffles a cry as she stubs her toe (Yes true to form I rearranged furniture last night), turns on the bathroom light blinding me, knocks over the the hair straightener on to the floor like a Jumungi Style in -house elephant stampede...then silently sneaks by me with a kiss on my cheek and whispers "I LOVE you", oblivious she's made a simple sound as the cord of the straightener bounces off my head.

2.  This morning when taking my June Bug puppy out for her duties, together we noticed the beautiful song of a bird in my forest.  In unison we both perked our ears and drew in a song we had not heard since the fall of the leaves in 2011.  Such rapture in declaring the oncoming of spring overwhelmed me and I stepped back into June Bug's dutiful landmine....with a smile....yes I think June Bug actually smiled HUGE back at me with my boot immersed in her landmine...we hugged.  Myself, appreciating that I did not slip and fall into her landmine....June Bug....well she is a puppy that LOVES me....she simply smiled!

3.  This afternoon my Cassie, so independent in her new College Res Abode, posts my blogs, in support of her o'le mom's efforts to create a company with the mission to change the world.   One of my biggest fans with the  most arduously true to heart opinions.  Cassie taught me LOVE as the first baby in a line of many.  Her royal blue eyes would pierce my heart through months of sleepless eves, dancing with her little self around the living room till she spewed  "LOVE" all over me....so necessary for the notoriously "Gassy Cassie" enabling her to fall asleep.  At 18 she doesn't "spew" on me anymore, instead we hold tight to each other in that special "Mother Daughter" LOVE as we release each other into a world each our own.

4.  With the Stress of owning two mortgages now, I have had only encouraging words from all my friends and family all day... Celebrating the successful growth of GTOC!!.  Knowing I have put forth, everything I am because I believe in Aspiring Women.  These people freely show their love in support of my efforts, even when I fail.

Some women have a supportive husband to come home to.  Me, I have my song birds, my puppy, my beautiful children and my endearing friends that all  teach me to listen with my heart, that stepping in poop won't hurt my soul (not sole!!), that my Monster's adore me even when I work too many hours and cannot be physically here with them,  and my friends....well they saw something in me I didn't even know was there until they believed.

So until MY Gerard Butler, dances into my life with a song in his heart and poop on his boots....I am so very LOVED and LOVE so many that this Valentines Day....if you see me.....smile back....I LOVE you too!!!...V

GTOC Blog 11..."relearning" Society through our Youth.

When I was growing up in small town Frankford, I only knew of one single parent and I am sure she was a widow.  I am sure there were more, however compared to the differences today, I am positive there has been a complete reversal.  I am always looking for that one married couple with children.  So the  norms of our society have changed.

In my married years, decisions were made based on two incomes, buying a house, a car or two, taking a quantity of adventurous holidays, having a quantity of children.  There was no planning for "what if there is a marriage breakdown".  Good marriage or bad marriage, the decision to separate was just becoming the norm of society. Today's progressive generation actually incorporates the "what if" situation into their career and life plan.  Admittedly a sadness for the sanctity of the marital contract, this does however change the raging statistics of unprepared single parents thrust into basic survival instincts within the world of social assistance.

In my attempts to determine the why's and how's of single parents ending up on social assistance so that I could earmark trends to be encouraged or discouraged within our young when campaigning within the Public Awareness tour, I realized that my goal within GTOC is to positively affect the statistical trend. To accomplish this I have utilized my experiences and the experiences of many single parents as a baseline of where to further encourage today's youth to become a part of the statistical trend pulling away from the need for the protective pillow of social assistance.

The Pre-Children Years of Marriage were spent picking one career focus and sticking to it, earning two incomes. The husband as a standard still earned more than the wife thus most decisions were still based on the husbands income with the wife's as a "cushion".  A nice house for a young couple not extravagant but a good long term investment and maybe a little better than where we came from. Interesting car choices with again the long term quality investment intent.  I would need 20 fingers on 4 hands to name all the countries we adventured to.  Even in a bad marriage, this way of life seemed a solid enough long term investment to make the decision to bring children into it, after all we knew our parents had good and bad times emotionally and financially.  Clearly though with the average woman still earning less than her husband, there remained the financial dependency, so should there be a separation, the wife's financial status would change dramatically.

Today's progressive youth,  focus on education with the knowledge that they will probably require more than one career in their lifetime either through "life changes" or company "attrition".  They decide to buy a house together knowing should they separate, it can be sold and each can retain their status within society.  It is purely a financial planning decision. The house is well maintained, decorated, landscaped....ready for sale at any point in time. Cars as well, are a status symbol and not purely a means of transportation....have you noticed less cars on the road with rust spots on them?   And travel.....I remember people who had never made it out of their province, never mind their country.  Today's youth awake each day with emails from friends all around the world.  They expect to meet, travel with even work with.  Undoubtedly the Internet has expanded our community into the entire world.   If their relationship does not progress well as they develop roots within their careers, life style, worlds, after much effort, they separate, still able to maintain a semblance of their financial lifestyle.  (Don't misunderstand, I believe in the sanctity of marriage, probably more now having lost mine.  I simply have chosen not to address it within the confines of this blog.)

The Children Years of Marriage for me and for many required many of us who were raised with the father as the sole provider and the mother as the home maker & nurturer, to make the decision to have the parent with the lowest salary, usually the wife, remain home to raise the children.  Although the majority of women my age had college diploma's or university degrees, we wanted our children to feel the nurtured upbringing we had growing up. Unfortunately the nice house, the interesting cars, the travel which were all based on two incomes many times affected the financial status of the family.  However, it was worth the "sacrifice", children are our commitment to the world's future.  This did however make the wife fully dependent on the husband's salary and by withdrawing from the workforce affect her ability to return to the workforce at the level her education and experience maintained on leaving.  Each passing year absent from the workforce increasing this.  The years change people.  Life experience changes people.  In some instances when things get difficult, a difficult situation (a bad marriage) can amplify bad decisions, can amplify abusive situations, can create truly irreconcilable differences and separation must occur.

Today's progressive youth, love their children as much as we loved them.  There are no differences or debates there. However their children spend much time learning, networking, socializing with other children within day care facilities, while both parents maintain their work status. No one parent is dependent on another.  In the beginning we believed day cares were not advantageous to our children because nothing could replace the consistent mother's nurturing within a secure family atmosphere.  Now with the norms of society adjusting meaning less secure family atmosphere's, both parents usually having equality in status and income and both parents undoubtedly involved in the children's multitude of activities (ie: play dates, sports, education), the day care facility is the modern families avenue to investing in long term financial and thusly family emotional stability.  Should this family separate, I generalize but I have seen the norm being both parents maintaining active caring roles in their children's lives and both parents having the financial tools/capabilities to maintain stable financial lives for themselves and their children.


The GTOC Role in Affecting Change:

The 40-60 year old separated/divorced mother, who struggled through social assistance & minimum wage jobs, raised her children within or off and on a social system that does not support a vision of higher education in women, simply an emergency cushion and a push back into a minimum wage workforce struggle.  These are the women GTOC is reaching out to.  The children are older or grown, the mother has no financial stability due to the years of struggle, no current higher education to give her compatibility back to a career she was previously educated for.  GTOC is looking for this woman who still has the drive to work hard with GTOC structured support & tools to become her potential. Thusly to end the cycle of poverty here.

Today's dependent youth,  caught in the struggle.  Most have had divorced parents with one or both ending up on social assistance.  It remains the people stuck within the poverty cycle of social assistance and their struggle for survival that eventually breaks down the barriers and our dependent youth focus on survival versus education, co-habitation to ease the financial burdens of bills, minimum wage jobs that barely make ends meet and eventually the cycle of poverty continues with the addition of babies, partner separations and increased dependency on social assistance.  GTOC is reaching out for these young women and their children.  Reteaching them the dignity of self, the pride in attaining goals, the belief in their own potential to be viable self sustaining contributors to community and to teach their children the same.  Thusly the effort to end the cycle of poverty here.

Today's high school teens,  are a mix of progressive youth and dependent youth.  GTOC's  Public Awareness Campaign goal is to talk to them about focusing on higher education.  On the availability of hope and opportunity for those who cannot find it now or in their future life experiences. Where needed rekindling their drive for the full experiences life has to offer as viable self sustaining contributors to their communities.  Thusly attempting to arrest the cycle of poverty before it begins.

Today's children,  are a social mix of who we are, of who we extend ourselves to be.  Irregardless of their family's financial status, we have the opportunity to teach them the beauty of quality in life.  To enjoy reading.  To be creative in their writing.  To explore their imaginations through love of education.  Through love of life experiences around our community....the world.  GTOC, through Veronica The Storyteller, is attempting to show our children the joys of reading, writing, imagination, creation and through pride in who they are by doing storybook readings with our young.  By encouraging our children to join in the creative process, to have fun participating in the creation of the next story to be told. Thusly reinforcing their natural ability to continue to enjoy their lives becoming viable self sustaining contributors to community....our world with no need for the cycle of poverty.

I have generalized much in my effort to put forth an opinion that essentially is intended to extend my belief that it is our responsibility to end the struggle in the cycle of poverty in our own communities and that our youth and our children are forming our community's society trends of the future.  Let's support them in attaining the end of the cycle of poverty goal.....in our world. .....

Our role as community is to spread the word.  If you know someone who can benefit from the structure within GTOC, connect them.  The information is here, show them and let them decide.....V

GTOC Blog 10 From the flip side of Real Estate....me as the Buyer!

I am learning a new appreciation for representation of Buyers.  If I had to express the stress in three words  O-M-G !!!!  If Zeus struck me with a bolt of lightening, I'd probably grab ahold and ask....is this 100 amp or 2?????

Here is my business vision as a real estate agent.....provide the Buyer with all the information so he/she can make an informed decision.

This is my first time buying all on my own.  I am my own representation.  I am attempting to buy a repossessed house, which means ALL information normally brought forth is completely unavailable without massive amounts of digging with the hopes that you are digging in the right direction.

It has come to my attention, that I have NEVER bought anything so risky and so very alone.  I actually never even knew what was on the forms (in my pre real estate career years)....my ex would simply say sign.here, here, and here ....done!

When you have a partner/husband to debate various aspects of a property, you bounce ideas of each other, each of you sees various pros and cons of the property....he feels his strengths while you feel you talents.....
Trust.

What happens when there is no partner/husband to bounce ideas around, no strengths to renovate, only talents to imaginate family flow and comforts?????

Here is where I am.....I am relying on my experience as a Real Estate Agent to inform me into a good decision on purchasing a property.  Relying on friendly contacts to bring forth  any information that will hinder or accentuate the deal.  Hoping that the people you have referred clients to over the past years, will stand by and bring forth information.  Counting on friends with knowledge of renovation strengthes.

It is no wonder, I am not sleeping.  The renovation spreadsheets are streaming through my mind as I pick design, pick finishes, pick furniture....what about the rewiring to code....did I see galvanized...wonder if the FP has been inspected,.....can I get free and clear title upon closing??????

There is a new respect forming in me for the single mom, buyer/investor.....Yeah tho I walk thru the valley of the shadow of death....I shall fear no evil..........

This runs through my mind as I inspect the hydro within the property.....I see areas with or without updating.....

and the quote continues in my brain "FOR I AM THE MEANEST SON OF A BITCH IN THIS VALLEY"....

So glad it is situated in a nice neighborhood though......V

GTOC Blog 9......On being a Class "A" Goof Ball.....

This adjective "goof ball" was one my father used often to describe one of us kids or the other.....or perhaps all of us at the same time on several occasions....as a parent, I have always used the adjective "chicken butt" or "butt face" with loads of affection!

Why take life too seriously?.....

Hi!  My name is Veronica....I am a goof ball, chicken butt, butt face!!......and I know this "group" is here to cure me.....but......."I LOVE being a goof ball, chicken butt, butt face......and I can only hope it is hereditary to my children!!!"

Definition of a goof ball....being the first to do the whooping crane dance around the kitchen island....and none of the kids join in....

Definition of a chicken butt.....being the first to reach forward arms opened wide to a stranger and hug them like your long lost friend....and as you walk away a silent smile sparkles into their eyes....

Definition of a butt face......leaving work with everyone  slip sliding gingerly across the ice during a freezing rain shower....and you in 4 inch heels no less....sliding, falling, carefully dodging and screaming between them all yelling.........f-o-r-e- !!!!!!

Life is so short.........

Those who try to defame you, hurt you, try to affect the well being of you and your family....F-O-R-E !!!!  Fill your boots, I pity you because you just won't take the time to love the feeling of freedom as you butt face fly across the ice!!!

Those who want to join in but feel reservations.....grab my hand.....our chicken butts will soften the landing when we doubt our abilities to fly......

Those who join in the whooping crane dance around the kitchen island.....hey goof ball.....next weekend come back .... let's do it again!!!

Life is too short,.....every moment.....good, bad or indifferent is an adventure I am not going to miss a second of it!!!.....V