GTOC...Blog #20...Cancer is a 4 letter word....Shine is a five letter word....so it is worth more!!

Usually with my blogs, I endeavor through hours of contemplation prior to typing.  Today, I am "winging it" so to speak "flying by the seat of my pants"....my favorite Julia Roberts saying from "Pretty Woman".

Why?....the emotional affect I am having difficulty defining....

It seems everywhere I turn today, someone is suffering through a form of cancer.  The advertisements are true, everyone knows someone affected by cancer.

If you have followed my blogs or know me well enough, then you know, I feel what I witness in people's spirits.  To the illogical levels that at times when their eye's reveal the hurt they cannot describe, a helpless depression will overcome me and I will withdraw to search for my own strengths to endure.  This struggle in their pains is not my own, and I feel this irrationality to the point that I cannot communicate...it is not mine to communicate, yet I do feel.

However, knowing my personality, you also know, I LOVE LIFE!!  .... I LOVE ALL LIFE!!!    I love the spirit mankind represents.  In the face of indignities, illnesses, irreconcilable atrocities, even death, mankind has the ability, the spirit to overcome with the strength of love.  In my little life I have witnessed greatness in people's spirits.  I draw strength in their realization that they own the unique ability to overcome all obstacles.....even cancer.

...even abuse,

...even torture,

...even illness,

...even helplessness,

...even death,

We have all endured "touches" , "moments" or "lifetimes" of each of these obstacles.  Those that SHINE anyways, in spite of,  are either born with the God Given Gift to be, or they are the Miraculous individuals who have discovered the worth, being & love of mankind through the struggles of their lives.  It remains from  the witnessing of their spirits, I draw my strengths.

Those who naturally SHINE from birth are not oblivious to struggles and self doubt.  They simply know that by "giving to others" from their shine....they will learn to endure the struggles uncommunicated.

Those who SHINE in spite of or of cause to, their struggles actually SPARKLE !!!  These are people who have faced and continue to endure the greatest struggles of life, the greatest struggles of their spirits, the greatest struggles of their souls.  In these struggles, I am sure they drawn deep within their very beings to retrieve strength from love of God, strength from love of mankind, strength from love of self,....it is not here that they sparkle....it is when they surpass their personal struggles, as they do.

It is with their initial realization that there is nothing left within and yet they still freely give everything to another.  This is when their SPARKLE exudes.  Their sparkle infects.  Their sparkle,

stops abuse,

stops torture,

heals illness,

gives hope to helplessness,

overcomes death....

"Cancer is a very descriptive 4 letter word".  Often in the struggle of life, we utilize 4 letter words to relay our frustrations...We, mankind, do however truly overcome our frustrations with words of value....

5 letter words hold value, ....like SHINE
6 letter words hold more value,....like SPIRIT
7 letter words even hold more value,.....like SPARKLE

My dearest of friends, you many be the sparkling individual I witness momentarily in my travels;  you may be the friend I encountered moments ago or the employer I have respected; you may be the life long family friend or the reason my soul soars when you are near.....YOU, your eyes, your spirit....YOU ....SPARKLE  !!!

This gift you freely give all you meet creates love, patience, passion for all life in everyone you encounter,...Thank You.

You are the gift that reminds us who continue to struggle within our own worlds, that there is hope...V

Blog #19....True Friendship....nothing more need be said..

 My Kimmy.....

When you have endured what seems a life time of being denied so much of the essentials to experience a full life, for example...friends, family, work, .... your views on life change.

One day you realize that what others thankfully take for granted as "the norm" you struggle and fight for just a slight glimpse of, a breath of, some kind of notion that it exists....and then you view it.  In that life changing moment you realize it has been there awaiting your decision to enforce your right to "experience" it ...all along.

I make no secret of my adoration of my Mother.  I remember the exact moment "I got her back" and she reinforced my strength to never let anyone deny me of her presence again.  By the time my father passed away, I knew I would forever remain by my Mother's side.  A special Mother / Daughter bond we have as I know she has with my sister's as well. Having been without in my lifetime...I cherish it so close to my heart that she stays in my daily thoughts from the time I open my eyes right through my evening dreams.  I express this to all who would listen and I witness their same love for their mothers, here or passed on through their eyes.  Precious memories to be shared.

There is another person however, who has had such a magnificient influence on my life that she also has helped me to strive to be a better person.  I met Kimmy one day walking through the mall.  I was all dressed up, looking for any job...with baby kids in tow, I was scowled upon by many.  I had more qualifications than they could ever hope to achieve and yet I had spent so many years lacking in self worth that I did not feel worthy of the lowest of jobs.

It was in my final lap of the mall stores, in complete exhaustion and despair with my arms around baby Gaby (then two years old) and pretty little Sissy hand in hand (then 6)  that I happened to look up and view my Kimmy.  Down a long hallway of unbeknownst shoppers, a shining beautiful smile that touched into her sparkling eyes said "hello". 

The truest sense of a friendship had begun.

My Kimmy saw in me what would take me years to see.  A woman, scared, on the verge of defeat but ready to stand up to the entire world with dignity.  She saw the fight and determination left in me that I did not know still existed.

I have attempted over the past 8 years, since that first smile, to thank Kimmy by telling the world about her store "Deja Vu" that she has single handedly built into a feel good  and glamorous empire!!!!....and through my descriptions of her as a person everyone needs to experience as a true friend in their lives,....and through small attempts to show support in her inexhaustive support of animals in "Fixed for Life"....yet I cannot measure to the amount of times,....

Kimmy stood by my side through all my "growing up" experiences...I should have already been done with.
....Through all my "lacking in good judgement" experiences that broke my heart again and again,
....Through all the times she proclaimed my worth to the world when I knew I was nothing,
....Through all my efforts and mounting beliefs in trying to find an avenue to help Aspiring women.

My Kimmy....has been the truest of friends.  Kimmy tells me when I am "full of it" however nicely and she also tells me I am wonderful even when I am "full of it"  :)))

I endeavored to put forth an Aspiring & Inspiring Interview of Kimberly MacDonald, however I knew she would downplay herself and focus on Deja Vu Boutique & Fixed For Life.   I will still work with Kimmy to put forth a proper interview because she has already Inspired a multitude of Aspiring women simply through being who she is.  My Kimmy is a naturally truly inspirational person through every moment of her day.

In the past 8 years, Kimmy has inspired me to open my arms & my heart to living life to it's fullest experience, once again.  In such, I have rekindled or created some beautiful true friendships with people all over the world.  Some closer to my heart, some simply loved for being. 

Kimmy taught me this.  To do "this" without fear.  Because "this" is the definition of My Kimmy....."to love with open arms...without judgement, ...without fear....but with the knowledge of who you are, your self worth...where you are going....and inviting those who would come with you....I LuB you My Kimmy.....the truest of friends....nothing more need be said....V