Wednesday, February 15, 2012

GTOC Blog 14....Owning up to the Bullying around us....

On the way home from work this evening, I set my sites past the road side deer that would pounce by hopefully never into my Saturn.....I smiled at the roadside police officers thankfully keeping our streets safe and I bounced blog thoughts through my brain as I belted out a John Lennon song "Imagine" the radio was not on, I simply wanted to imagine life without without so many difficulties for my children to face.

We all know what a positive spirit I am. It takes much effort for any one thing to bring me down.  However this week I introspected much into a topic which has arisen repeatedly.  As in the complete mission of GTOC, I do not believe in standing quietly or shrinking away from a difficult topic.  I believe in open communication and affecting public opinion positively.

By the end of this blog, you will recognize that this topic is dear to my heart.  ... Bullying.

Two FB friends, Andrew Cole and Casey Leanna, have put forth much effort towards addressing this topic.  Today at work, it was discussed frequently and openly, as it should.  Open communication empowers those so wronged.

When I was the age of my youngest boy now...only 10 years old...I was bullied daily.  Rough town, rough people....versus an imaginative yet gawky soul.  I didn't stand a chance in fighting back.  What I did possess, thanks to my mom and dad, was a sense of self worth.  It still hurts, but you can take quite a beating when you know I am going somewhere and I AM DOING!!! this experience I learned a strength through which I had to retrain my many weaknesses.

Today, I can identify several who bully me daily via the cowardess of offensive texting, emailing and deflamatory commentaries publicaly directed at my personal self of well being.  It is a life hazard for the too nice, non confrontational type that I am....YES  it does affect my well being....of course it hurts....NO.....I cannot dwell on it.....I simply feel badly that they put forth so much effort when I will file it away and move on to those who deserve my consistent efforts like the women of GTOC and my beautiful four monsters.

However, I am an adult.  A professional quite accustomed to the ex-employee's angst, ....the selling agents falsely placed push to uninformed decisiveness....and various ex's desire to re-engage.  Probably the most professionally adventageous quote " just because someone invites you to a party doesn't mean you are obliged to attend....the same goes for a fight"  As an adult you have achieved the confidence in self to approach all or walk away from on our own terms.

And here approaches the difficult topic.  The bullying of the Innocents.

Where in our lives did we create within our children the concept that Bullying was acceptable?  Where in my boy's life did I create the acceptance of being bullied?   Where in our lives did we not learn to address this topic openly so as to end it before it created long term damage? As an over worked, single mom I could create a million legitimate excuses.....but he is MY boy....MY beautiful boy....and I failed him by not recognizing and addressing the signs early enough.  There is no justifyable excuse.  He is MY boy and so late in this....I stand by him, addressing his "now" everyday life tinged by the Bully.

So here are my thoughts put forth for comment:
1.  somewhere within GTOC, we need to strengthen our single mothers, so accustomed to being bullied in life, to recognize outside of their financial struggles for family by aiding in the elieviation of their financial struggles and enabling them to be the attentive mother's they once were.
2. we need to address bullying more aggressively within the school system, to free up the will of the teacher's who witness the bullying to at the very least step forward to openly communicate these issues to the parents of both the bullied and the bullier.
3.  to allow the police, the freedom to openly recognize the young person's struggle to survive the indignities imposed upon the bullied and to contact the parents of both the bullied and the bullier to communicate any potential end to the situation.

Today, my beautiful son has become a champion to follow for those who are bullied.  His internal struggle hidden in efforts to acclimatize to a world he hid from for so many years.  My son has become my hero in my every day life.  As an Innocent he has endured and exceeded those who would bully him. 

Everyday, I walk in his footsteps only wishing I could stand as tall as he has become. 

Another favorite quote "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger".....given all , the beautiful soul within my son soars above all who would bully him still to this day.....V

1 comment:

  1. Bullying is a clear case of low self-esteem...for those bullying vs those being bullied. Standing up for oneself as well as others who are being bullied is a sign of self confidence and a reminder to those doing the bullying that they are truly "powerless" when all is said and done. I am among many who are thankful for your parents instilling in you the sense of self-worth and confidence that inspires us all to do what's right in this regard my friend.