Today I had a performance meeting with my supervisor of one of my many jobs. Throughout my previous structured employments I had become quite accustomed to raving reviews and recommendations.for advancement. Hard worker, eager, high achiever, intellectually & physically ...were standard adjectives for my work performances. I knew this would not be the case today as I entered the meeting room with a joke to my supervisor inquiring as to whether this was where they kept the ruler to slap our wrists with. This was not the level of job to which I have been accustomed and it's affect on me, while knowing I was learning key negotiation skills, anger management skills, confrontational skills, ....I was allowing the grey matter of the life of these we were to aid to injure my usually positive outlook on live and love of life.
In past I have not had positively memorable experiences with supervisors of the female gender. It seemed they were eager to prove a powerful point and required the words "bitch" noted as highly as the achievement of their university degree. Throughout the years I have sworn that until I could accomplish the goal of supervisor, manager, boss, without the "bitch" degree designation,....I would not even attempt the role. The norm at that time would progress as such.....yes I am nice.....and yes you may walk all over me. I knew it would take time for me to be ready.
Of the recent year, I believed that I had reached that level of self confidence through my beliefs in GTOC and other's beliefs in my efforts through GTOC, that allowed me to supervise with a degree in nice, fair but firm. Today, I learned a life lesson. My supervisor was simply real. We sat, we discussed pros and cons of the position, of my role within the position and life lessons. She did not attempt the "power trip" role with the "bitch" designation. And as I sat in the tiny little meeting room with her and the wobbly table we both sat forward to support, I realized that she was a sample of the type of supervisor, manager, boss, I respect....and because she is just that....I have learned a deeper respect for my position within the company,....in a job that whether I stay or not....that will be completed with a higher respect in accomplishment for my duration within.
I have held many humble positions in life, knowing I could achieve more, however life's lessons had not taught me the confidence to take those steps of achievement. In retrospect, today's employment review brought me back to a life lesson reality and I took the last 20-30 years into review on my long drive home to Rose Hall:
1. By the time I was 19 I realized all those years of holding a lantern for my dad while he worked on the car, were the most precious moments with him I desired to relive, especially now that he is gone.
2. That as teenagers, we don't make amazing decisions. We are meant to fail repeatedly & learn from those errors so that we will make better decisions for some of us in our 20's, some of us in our 30's and the rest of us...yes like me, in our 40's.
3. I learned that German's are precise between requests for toast & croissants as well as coffee & cafe au lait.
4. I learned that no matter how loud I sang on the hills of Austria....I would NEVER sound like Julie Andrews .... :((
5. I learned that Italian Police have NO sense of humour.....don't ask!!!
6. I learned that not all men are bad.....neither are all women.....but don't stay friends with them, or married to them, if they are.
7. I learned that children everywhere in our world are given to us in trust from God....to care for, yours, mine or theirs.....to care for.
8. I learned being a mom is my most precious & meaningful job in life. And as such, will make me strive to be better at my job every living moment.
9. I learned that a glass of the perfect wine with the perfect food shared with a wonderful gentleman were moments to hold close to your heart in every lonely "ever after" moment.
10. And I learned that while I will never be perfect....I will never stop trying.....because our lives are beautiful, poor, rich, starving, abundance.....all are beautiful .... and all of us can make a difference in someone's life and the other day I was asked why?.....my only response was.....because I can.
A special thank you today to people out there like my supervisor. Thank you for being real. Thank you for making a difference....just because you can. .... V