We have all dealt with our cancers, our phobias, our baggage, our mistakes...we are after all human. Our mistakes make us into the characters everyone knows and loves.
I have chatted much with "two parent" families.....their fears are the same as single parent families, however, as a two parent family they always seem to have "the back up plan"....
What if your life had no "back up plan".....??
They say "once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic,....once a drug addict.....always a drug addict,....the same can be said for having children....once you accept the responsibility it never leaves you ..... and......the same is with cancer....once you have it....the fear never escapes you. So after leaving the doctor's office today....this is what I decided to think about.......
I hate one of my jobs.......I will now find one I like!
I love the rest of my jobs......they need to start paying me money so that I don't have to take jobs I hate!!
I love driving in snow storms....I think that is the "Hendrick Racing" Nascar family coming out in me....however, I must admit,....I love simply driving fast especially in a car that has a higher capacity than I do,...black ice is an excuse for donuts....4 wheeling an excuse to plough the fields and .....I could go on....especially about "getting air on the danforth"....
I LOVE debating with my son....he's learning to keep emotion out of his argument....and I am learning to listen to his point of view.
Farts are better under the covers especially if you are the one holding the covers over your son's head.
Heat inside your house on a crispy cold winter's day can sometimes be a luxury....on that day Dad's old woollen sweaters you kept in a special cedar trunk after he passed away....become a necessity.
I LOVE my ability to hug my children while I argue with them. Especially the teenagers when they push me away...and I wrestle them down and hold them close because we don't have to agree....we simply have to love eachother.
I Love my inherited love of life.
I LovE the way I got to witness my mom and dad cuddle....and I had to leave the room because I didn't think people still acted that way at "their" age.
And my favorite.....I LOVE that I can recall every second as a small child, of watching my parents jive in our tiny living room, until they had worked up a sweat and yet they held each other like the rest of the world didn't exist.
I miss all my friends I have lost.....but you know I talk to you more now than I ever did during all those times separated by geography.
Of today....I will tell you this....I love the musical sound of the voices of my children, I love that no matter what I am still trying to make a difference in life, I love the wind in my hair ....even if it comes with rain, ice & snow, I love that no matter what ills life throws at me, my sense of humor remains, that my Dad's old sweater is still my security blanket, that I think my Mom learned how to email & text just so we that she could schedule some portion of my busy day to be with her....and that my babies still hold my hand when I cross the road.
I may not have a "back up plan" but I sure plan on living life so that those I hold dear to me know I live every moment together like it is the best moments in life and I want them to feel the same.
I am the richest, most fortunate person in my world ! Just as you are in yours!!..... serious smiles all around.....V